The Raw and Real Side of My Practice

Do the hard stuff. Face it head-on. No running. No excuses. Even if it means falling apart, because sometimes we need to break, mentally and emotionally, before we can rebuild.

This morning, my teacher filmed my drop back practice. I had no idea he was recording.

Watching it back now, I see myself at one of my most vulnerable moments. My sweat and tears blending together, my head screaming to just stop, to find any excuse. But deep down, something in me knew I had to keep going. I could feel that I can, even though my mind was in chaos, causing my body to freeze up. I had to calm myself down again and again, telling myself: “You can do this.”

It made me wonder: why are there days when things is accessible, and days when everything feels impossible? I’m still trying to figure that out.

Nothing else breaks me open quite like the Ashtanga Mysore practice. It’s taught me how much I’ve been living in my comfort zone in my early years of yoga practice, tiptoeing around the poses I find too hard or scary. Just like in life, we want the easy way out. We want to skip the hard parts. But Mysore doesn’t let us skip. It asks us to show up, fully. To face the poses we need, not just the ones we like. And the ones we avoid? They usually come back, in other forms. And it really does!

I have days where I feel raw, days where the practice breaks me open. I stumble, sweat, cry. I struggle, just like you. And that shared humanity… that’s the real and honest part of it.

Because if we can’t be real and honest on our mat, right there in the practice - then where? When? And how?